Sunday, January 29, 2012

Changing my destructive impulsiveness

I had a doughnut today.

An hour later, I got sick, so I rather wish I hadn't eaten one. But I was okay with that choice. So what makes it different from last weekend, when a single S'more sent me into fits?

This one was a choice.

I've always been an impulsive person. Case in point: a little while ago, at 11:30pm on a Saturday night, I got halfway through a DVD of mine when the movie stopped playing. The DVD was damaged. Rather than accept that, oh well, I can't finish watching a movie I've already seen numerous times, I went to the store in my pajamas to buy a replacement. And here I am, back on my couch, continuing with "Watchmen".

This sort of impulsive behavior isn't always destructive. When it comes to food, though, it usually is. I never decided to over-eat or load up on junk. I never sat down and said to myself, "You know what? I should really do my best to eat 3000 calories a day of mostly refined sugars and fats." It was an impulse, a spur-of-the-moment idea that sounded good, so I did it.

Today's doughnut was planned. I decided on my way to work that I was going to treat myself to the snacks we had at the office. This was in stark contrast to the snacks I had last weekend, which were eaten because I had a craving and I just plain wanted to.

Learning to say no to these impulses is hard. It's undoing a lifetime of behavioral programming with no guarantee of a reward.

But it's worth it, every time.

No comments:

Post a Comment