Thursday, March 29, 2012

This concept, this foreign feeling, it has a name

People ask me, "How can you keep going to the gym all the time? When it's so late/when you don't feel well/when your muscles ache?"

And I never quite know how to answer, because there are so many things I could say.

Because I have so much more to do.

Because I finally know what I'm capable of.

Because I can't be that girl again.

Because I don't have a reason not to.

Tonight, my answer was this: "Because I finally know how it feels to be proud of myself."

I've done a lot of things in my life. That saying, "Jack of all trades, master of none"? That's me to a tee. I wanted to be a concert cellist from a young age, until my technique damaged my arms. I went to school for opera before I realized I couldn't cut it. I wanted to make horses my life, then I tore my ACL. I've dreamed and hoped and wanted to achieve so many things. I have achieved none of them.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy. I have a job I enjoy and I'm very good at it. I love my coworkers, I love my family. These are not new things.

But now, I have something to be proud of. Every day, I climb a mountain.

Every day, I achieve.

That's why I go to the gym. Because it matters. Because I matter.

No comments:

Post a Comment