Unexpected results are sometimes the best ones

A funny thing happened tonight.

I decided not to go to the gym.

Okay, that's not the funny part. The funny part is that my brain knows that the end of my work day equals going to the gym, and I pulled into the left-turn lane before I realized that I was going the wrong way to get home.

So I had a quick chat with myself.

"Self, why don't you want to go to the gym?"

Because.

"What will you accomplish if you don't go to the gym?"

Myself had no answer for this. And thus, my decision was made for me. I went to the gym.

And it was, without a doubt, the best decision I've made all week.

I hit the weights first, something I haven't done independently for over a week. A little leg work, some arms, reminding myself that I know how to do this and that it's important.

I've been telling myself all week that I need to take it easy on the treadmill. I planned to do elliptical last night, then didn't. I planned to do elliptical tonight, then didn't. So I tried to convince myself that I should walk tonight, maybe just a light jog. Progress on my mile has been slow, in fits and starts, and I thought that going light tonight might be a nice change of pace.

But then, I started running. And I kept running.

I waved goodbye to my previous record mile of 14:20, set yesterday. When that mile turned over at 13:52, I had to stop the machine.

I cried.

I've never done this before, not as an adult. Ever. It was overwhelming, and I struggled to keep it together enough that my gym-mates didn't worry. I started it up again, giving myself a victory walk, shaking out my legs.

And then I started running again. And running some more.

I broke my two-mile record by 41 seconds, finishing in 29:18.

This feeling, it's indescribable, and I'm not doing it justice by struggling with words. I knew, deep down, that I had what it took to do this. I just wasn't prepared for what it would feel like.

I still have a long road ahead. Today's records are meant to be broken tomorrow. But for a few minutes, I have this. No failure can take that away.